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Holiday Parenting Tips
by
Dr. Cheryl Rode
San Diego Center for Children
This is a great time to focus on themes of tradition, community, peace, giving to others, and having faith to believe in wonders we cannot see.
Traditions are a wonderful part of families – traditions create comfort and connection with those around us. For children, traditions often create the memories that stay with them. You can build traditions all around the holiday – in the preparations, the celebrations, and the closing of the holiday season. Traditions help to ground us and tell us who we are and where we come from. They connect to each other, and to the past, and family we have lost. Try not to be too rigid around those traditions – you want it to be enjoyable and memorable, not a requirement. Also, encourage your children to create new family traditions.
Community – this is a time of year when we hear more about those in need, those less fortunate. Children learn from modeling their parents – if we make time for helping at a shelter or budget for food and gifts for the needy, our children will learn those values. Give your children choice in deciding how to help others – this can lead to good conversations about understanding other’s needs.
Giving and gratitude – it is tempting to buy everything on the wish list! But then it is a “gimme list”. The holidays are a great time to teach about appreciation vs. gratification. We can help our children think about what they wish for by starting with appreciating what they have. Take a walk through your child’s room and pick up favorite things- talk about the fun of the item, the specialness, and about whom it came from. Truly, children will value time playing with Mom and Dad, and other relatives with a new toy more than playing alone with dozens of toys. When our children give us gifts, we can shower them with appreciation for the thought, the effort, the heart that went into that gift.
Peace – the holidays can bring forth many wonderful opportunities to talk about the importance of peace in the world and in our lives. We can talk about peace between nations or people with different beliefs, as examples of tolerance and conflict resolution. We can talk about peace within our relationships – especially between siblings! And we can talk about peace within ourselves as a way of teaching how to handle difficult feelings and experiences. The holidays can be very exciting for children and they need opportunities for "down time" and self-control. Plan for peaceful activities throughout the holidays to keep a balance.
Faith in Believing – every family has special beliefs about the holiday season. This is a magical time of year for children and a great time for adults to encourage children’s senses of creativity, imagination, and wonder. As children get older we can put more emphasis on the meaning behind the beliefs than on the “facts”. After all, imagination and creativity are what lead us to achieve great things.
Manage stress by setting clear and realistic expectations around budgets, time, activities, sweets, family. Keep up expectations for healthy choices and wellness – like limiting sugar, maintaining physical activity, and normal sleep routines for children. We can’t do everything on the holiday activity wish list, just like we can’t buy everything on the gift wish list, so pick those things that are most important and really enjoy them.
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For immediate assistance call the Center at 858-277-9550 |
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